Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
