I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
