hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize