You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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