I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
PANTIES FOUND
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