Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
