That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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