tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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