Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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