ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
PANTIES FOUND
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
