tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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