that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are we still banned from the library?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
