Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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