check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
