lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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