Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
