We won't sleep together?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
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