Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  we're chasing vodka with high fives

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  (714): we're chasing vodka with high fives http://tfl.nu/2m9s
  Replies (38) Good night (17375) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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  (920): call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing. http://tfl.nu/ctbc
  Replies (8) Good night (748) Bad night (2885)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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  (615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci
  Replies (10) Good night (3994) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?

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  (740): I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/jir7
  Replies (73) Good night (1335) Bad night (14544)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.

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  (631): being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/sgbo
  Replies (11) Good night (4347) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

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  (516): drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries http://tfl.nu/4gv5
  Replies (4) Good night (3048) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...

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  (479): The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl... http://tfl.nu/uc2c
  Replies (6) Good night (1937) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens

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  (860): I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens http://tfl.nu/onsn
  Replies (2) Good night (2051) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.

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  (701): Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days. http://tfl.nu/swcj
  Replies (2) Good night (1598) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.

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  (832): I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me. http://tfl.nu/6e6y
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

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  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1277) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  How stoned are you?

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  (406): 3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant. (1-406): How stoned are you? http://tfl.nu/v7x3
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

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  (330): You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/exdp
  Replies (3) Good night (507) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up

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  (503): He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up http://tfl.nu/b7lo
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun

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  (270): I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun http://tfl.nu/24f6
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (244)

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