Can Purell be used as lube?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.