allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS