why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.