it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes