Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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  (845): when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me. http://tfl.nu/56i6
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (3152)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Is my tampon string too long for this dress?

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  (709): Is my tampon string too long for this dress? http://tfl.nu/pjcs
  Replies (54) Good night (1174) Bad night (6654)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.

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  (360): So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times. http://tfl.nu/ca4m
  Replies (5) Good night (4396) Bad night (661)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.

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  (517): just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder. http://tfl.nu/xinc
  Replies (27) Good night (1478) Bad night (4933)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.

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  (423): so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win. http://tfl.nu/dvpb
  Replies (24) Good night (7537) Bad night (891)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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  (781): im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose http://tfl.nu/q51l
  Replies (51) Good night (1824) Bad night (6629)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.

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  (218): I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that. http://tfl.nu/isuw
  Replies (31) Good night (5420) Bad night (2339)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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  (810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y
  Replies (25) Good night (11676) Bad night (1391)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa

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  (732): You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa http://tfl.nu/fgun
  Replies (13) Good night (3361) Bad night (1230)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that

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  (407): I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that http://tfl.nu/57uu
  Replies (6) Good night (4429) Bad night (1038)
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  (310): View more from California

  Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

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  (310): Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well. http://tfl.nu/39wu
  Replies (20) Good night (7766) Bad night (848)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012

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  (217): You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012 http://tfl.nu/onux
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (673)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull

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  (651): Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull http://tfl.nu/fvhw
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (1196)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.

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  (307): Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry. http://tfl.nu/ia83
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (356)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be

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  (505): Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be http://tfl.nu/c3xl
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (313)

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