i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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