Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's just like the Real World with babies
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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