Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
