You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
