I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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