the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
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