He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
