Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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