I think my fart just growled at me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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