i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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