My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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