A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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