Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I still have a little drunk in my system
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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