I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
