I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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