i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
