The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
