he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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