I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
