TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
