Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
