your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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