He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
