also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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