we have officially lost it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Four minutes until I can fart!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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