If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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