Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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