omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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