I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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