I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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