id be glad to
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
