I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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