Pappa wants mamma naked
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
