do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
