Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
