census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
