my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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