I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
