how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
