the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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