I CAN MOONWALK!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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