it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
high people should be assigned attendants
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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