Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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