covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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