i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
