ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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