there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
