Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This baby is an asshole
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
